Advice for a Sunny Monday

Yes, a surfer friend is exactly what you need. We're headed to the gorge to see if we can scare up a decently docile wind-surfer to keep things interesting. See ya there, Lu.

For Lu, An 80s Fave

Ma Maison

Clearly something is going on in this video that we're far from understanding. More study is going to be necessary before the safety of this video can be determined so watch at your own risk. Lu. That means you.

Fans of Awesomeness, We Introduce the Mantis Shrimp

Now, don't let this little guy (or gal's) appearance fool you. Peacock mantis shrimp are pretty bad ass. I intend to post another video of one doing battle with several other marine animals just to give you a sense of how honey badger these things can be, but first let's see what Wikipedia says on the subject:

This mantis shrimp is a smasher, with club shaped raptorial appendages.[1] An active hunter, it prefers gastropods, crustaceans, and bivalves,[1] and will repeatedly smash its prey until it can gain access to the soft tissue for consumption. It is reported to have a "punch" of over 50 miles per hour (80 km/h). This is the fastest recorded punch of any living animal. The acceleration is that of a .22 caliber handgun, with a force created of 200 pounds per strike. In addition, the surface of its appendages is made up of extremely dense hydroxyapatite, layered in a manner which is highly resistant to fracturing. Glass aquaria can be broken by them. The composition is being investigated for potential synthesis and engineering use.[4][5]

It goes on to say that they are usually kept in solitary environments because they will eat the other inhabitants of their aquarium. This might give you an idea how much the mantis shrimp don't care about any other crustacean. It just takes what it wants:

Did Somebody Say Poison?

Night of the Sasquatch Scare

It was a dark and stormy night and Lulu needed to take Bob out to do a little of this and that. Mostly that. Being dark and stormy, it was also a bit chilly and Lulu didn't really feel like going up stairs in the Haunted Heap, as the strange old house she was visiting was referred to, so she decided to borrow a remarkably fuzzy and weird sweater from the peg by the door. It was greenish and looked like the fur of a wild animal, but she really didn't care how it looked as long as it would provide some warmth. What Lulu didn't know was that the sweater was a very special one made of died Sasquatch fur, which rendered the wearer very Sasquatch-ish. Bob enjoyed his walk, by the way. The next morning Lulu awoke to a town in a frenzy. There were news crews with their big cameras interviewing the inhabitants of the usually quiet neighborhood in which the Haunted Heap stood. "Sasquatch sighting" was the phrase on everyone's lips. Lulu didn't particularly care, though, as she wasn't at all afraid of Sasquatch.

"Lulu," the owner of the Haunted Heap said,"did you happen to go out wearing this sweater last night? It seems that the Sasquatch that was sighted was walking a remarkably cute dog."

"Well, it was dark and stormy and cold," Lulu answered.

"Maybe you'd better not do that in town any more. This is the Sasquatch sweater."

"That does explain a few things," Lulu remarked. "But anyone who owns a Sasquatch sweater should probably store it safely in order to avoid unintended Sasquatch scares."

"Anyone," answered Lulu's interlocutor, "who is being pursued by a Wicked Witch should avoid the appearance of weird phenomenon which might serve to attract her attention."

"Good point, but the Witch would like to get her hands on you too. Just think about that when you're leaving your sweater unsecured."

Weirder and Weirder in Walla Walla as Wickidity Continues to Rise

Video of recent Walla Walla dance hex:

It's been a long time since Walla Walla experienced it's last Wickidity attack, and most here had all but forgotten that such a thing even existed. The Wicked Witch formerly known as the Wicked Witch of Walla Walla, then the Wicked Witch of Western Washington, and more recently, as the Wicked Witch of West Texas seems to have taken a renewed interest in the area. Just yesterday a dance craze broke out down town that left several unlucky dancers with dance related injuries. West Texas, meanwhile, has seen no anomalous activity. For West Texas that is the anomaly as the Wicked Witch of West Texas has spent the last eight years tormenting the area with hex after curse after enchantment. Yesterday one professor Prattle who disappeared last year after being turned into a blue lipped fence gecko when he inadvertently insulted the Wicked Witch of West Texas wandered into Nowhere confused, disoriented and still without the power of speech. JimBob Jamison also returned in his former shape, though still smelling like the skunk he's been for the past two years after he mistakenly served a certain Witch brisket when she wanted ribs. In fact, all over the Nowhere area things that were formerly fracked up by our least favorite Wickidity practitioner are returning to their former normal state.

We are continuing to combat the sudden Walla Walla Wickidity surge which most believe is related to the statement made to Lulu at the end of her time in Sugarland, which was recounted in Lulu Lopez vs. the Wicked Witch of West Texas -- Adventure in Sugarland. The witch, at the end of that strange episode, spoke these enigmatic words to poor Lulu: "I'll be back." The subsequent visit by Lulu to the environs of West Texas and her suspected theft of a certain cinnamon sports broom may also have some bearing. Surely we'll find the time to chronicle the events that may unfold over the coming days and weeks in our most purple manner, so stay tuned watchers of Wickidity. Things could get really strange and florid and sordid and horrid.